Sadness is a Catalyst (The Perks of Using White Flower Lesson#4)

Lesson #4: On Grief

Dear Past Me,

I haven't written you for a while.  Not that you didn't need it but I know that you can still handle it.  I remember this day 17 years ago like it was yesterday.  This was the time that Ate Josie died.   It was devastating, sudden, definitely one of the saddest time of our life.  I can't tell you that it would be the last nor that there would be events sadder than this but one thing is for sure life would go on and that everything will be fine.  Death is the end of one's life on earth not the end of others around him.  Life should go on even if it is hard, even if it is sadder now.  

For what its worth this event showed who are those that genuinely love Ate and our family.  Long time neighbors showed support, relatives came in to share our grief and true friends showed up to tide us over.  It was perfectly clear who was really there to help us.  Forget those nuisances that disrespected our family during that difficult time.  This I can tell you as you have already decided by the time you received this, they were easily forgotten and is not connected with our family anymore (good riddance!)

From where our family goes from here is now in your hands.  Guide the kids, help Mama and Papa, and don't forget to draw strength from God and your family.  It will still be a bumpy ride but let God take the wheel now.  Just talk to the driver always so that you know where you are heading.  

Don't let the sadness and hate consume you, allow yourself to grieve but don't stay there for a long time.  Sadness is a catalyst - it is your choice if you want it to be a positive or a negative reaction.

Your 65 Year Old Self

P.S.  You are now starting your 5th life cycle.  We always believe in new beginnings and this event is just part of it.

To Travel In Time

So why did I came up with this idea of a series of letters from my future self?  Well, it is because I have long been fascinated by time travel and have always loved watching movies regarding time travel.  My personal favorites are:

13.   Jumanji
12.   The Terminator series
11.   Looper
10.   Shrek Forever After
9.     Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (yup, there is time travel which is important in the story arc.)
8.     Men In Black 3
7.     Click
6.     About Time
5.     The Time Traveler's Wife
4.     The Lake House (well, the letters are the ones that travels through time.)
3.     Il Mare (Original Korean version of The Lake House)
2.     The "Back to the Future" Series (Back to the Future 1, 2 and 3)
1.     Somewhere In Time

You would notice that majority of these movies are love stories.  Why is it that romance and time travel go well together?   I guess authors and screenwriters have long been "in love" with the notion of time travel.  And the themes in these films revolve around regrets in life's choices, a love so great that it transcends time itself or at times it is just about destiny.  I think that a lot of people (although they may not admit it) have some regrets in their life that they have wished they can change.  And wouldn't it be just so convenient if you can magically go back in time and just do it differently?  To say a word that was not said or to take back something said and change the events in the future?  As mentioned in Men in Black 3:

Agent K: Do you know the most destructive force in the universe?
Agent J: Sugar?
Agent K: Regret.

But one important aspect of time travel that one should always remember is called the grandfather paradox.  Changing an event in the past would recreate the future with all the good and bad things that happened in it and also prevents the events that would allow you to travel back in time in the first place.  So as much as travelling back in time may seem to be a good way to solve one's personal problems in the present it would also takes out your most cherished memories.

I have recently seen #6 in the list which is About Time, it is a story about a time traveler who manages to use his powers to find the girl he met on a "blind" date.  Well not your usual blind date since it was on a Dans le Noir or a blind restaurant.  Soon he knew that changing the events in the past would have dire consequences in the future.  The movie reminds me of The Time Traveler's Wife (probably due to the fact that it also stars Rachel McAdams) but on a lighter theme.  Plus it is written and directed by Richard Curtis (Four Wedding and A Funeral, Notting Hill, Love Actually.)   All of these movies are personal favorites too.  This guy is so bloody brilliant that he should get a knighthood already.  And just like all the other Richard Curtis movies, there would always be a catchy love song to accompany it.

Love Eternally (The Perks of Using White Flower Lesson#3)

Lesson #3 On Love

My Dearly Beloved,

Yes, I am referring to you my past self.  You know it's not uncommon for us to say this to ourselves, after all that is the literal meaning of our surname (pun intended.)  But seriously, we have always told our friends all this time that no one will love you more than your self. That still holds true even now after 23 years.  It is one of the best piece of advice we have ever given and I still continue to say it even now.  But here is one more thing you would need to emulate, always remember that everyone needs to receive love from someone else. There is no exception to this.  It's what keeps love from going on like a flame in candle being passed  from one heart to another.

But my letter to you today is not meant for you to receive love, you still have it (lots of it) in you all this time.  It is a reminder for you to give love away in order for it to flourish.  You would need to show it and allow others to learn from your actions.  Don't keep love static and dormant, keeping love is like holding water with an open palm, it can never be contained.  But some people's greatest fear is that if they give out love they would not get love in return.  Love always comes full circle, it eventually would come back to the person who gives love - in one form or the other.  So why choose fear, if you can choose to love?

And you give love to three different group of people in the world:

1. Those who love you - your wife, your child, your family and your friends.  Yes, it is easy to love those who love you.  As I have mentioned to you a while ago everyone needs to be loved, including you.  So why not start with those who can give it back to you? 
2. Those who do not receive love - yes, the unloved.  Those who society rejects in physical appearance, social status, sexual preference, religious beliefs or lack of it.  Those who were abandoned by their family and friends.  Those who have lost everything.  They need to receive love most of all.  So be different, be the change you need to be and give them the love and attention they deserve.
3. Those who can't give out love - these are the unlovable.  Those who choose not to love even though they are loved by others.  Those who have far too much loved themselves that they forget to give love to others or what is called selfish love.  Those who have so much hate in their heart that they have chosen not to love.  Yes, even they need to be loved.  As I have said love given is never unnoticed.  The universe will return it to you not in the way you expect it to be but how you need it to be. 

Does these sound familiar to you?  Yes, these are the universal truth.  It transcends religion it is the secret of life itself.   So my urgent plea for you is not to fall into the 3rd category.  Do not harden your heart, no matter how life's events has not been according to plan.  Things will get better in time, just be patient and see things unfold as you start to plant the seeds for a fruitful and meaningful life.

Here is one more thing that I would like to impart to you, Fall in Love Everyday.  Never ever wane in your love, that is the secret for a successful relationship.  Do you remember the first time you realized you love your then girlfriend/now your wife? The first time you saw your daughter after she was born?  That is the feeling that you need to have everyday.  Keep this both in your mind and in your heart.

And do not forget that you are loved.

Take it from an old man who has his heart filled with loved and continuously gives out love.

And by the way since it is already February (which have always been one of the happiest months for us) I greet you a Happy Valentine's Day.

Bonus soundtrack while reading this blog post:  Here is Ellie Goulding's How Long Will I Love You from the movie About Time.

Ellie Goulding 'How Long Will I Love You' from Jake Scott Cinematographer on Vimeo.

Fire and Ice

I haven't done a movie review in a long time (since Iron Man 3 to be exact) so I am posting about not only one but two movies I have watched recently.  These are The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Disney's Frozen.




Catching Fire is the epic sequel to the 2012 hit movie The Hunger Games starring Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen.  Now I would normally stop here after the mere mention of Jennifer Lawrence (you know one of the youngest  Academy Awards Best Actress winner whom I have pronounced to have an undying crush on.  OK, I am rambling now...) but rarely would you have a sequel which is actually better than the first film.

Catching Fire takes on the story after Katniss and Peeta (seriously Suzzane Collins, you would have to your name your characters that are hard to spell?) won the 74th Hunger Games by acting as star crossed lovers in order for both of them to survive.  And the operating word here is "acting."  We've known from the first movie that Katniss is in love with Gale but when she and Peeta are sent back to compete again in the Third Quarter Quell (the 75th Hunger Games) could they still pull out the same act again?  And at this point questions now arise if Katniss is still acting or she is now really doing this to protect Peter?  All of this happens in the backdrop of an impending revolution fueled by Katniss' disobedience in the 74th Hunger Games.

Like all great film series, the details are being laid out in order to build up for the big finale and that is why sometimes the sequel becomes a "go-between" for the third (or fourth) film.  In the case of this series Catching Fire really builds up the needed anticipation that would not just cater to the followers of the book but also for those who are just experiencing the world of Katniss Everdeen for the first time through the movies.  Jennifer Lawrence have pulled off a great performance that would really make you realize why she won the Academy Awards Best Actress for Silver Linings Playbook (another movie I love) and recently as Golden Globes Best Supporting Actress - Motion Picture for her role in American Hustle.  Catching Fire as a movie really holds on its own and is a great cinematic experience.

If you haven't seen it then order it on DVD or Blue Ray.  You won't regret it.




Frozen is a 3D animated musical fantasy film by Disney Animation Studios.  It has great songs (reminiscent of Beauty and the Beast and Tangled) and a great story (think Finding Nemo, UP and Toy Story 3.)  It really is deserving of the Golden Globes and Critic's Choice nod as Best Animated Feature Film and the nomination for Oscars Best Animated Film and Best Original Song for "Let It Go."  Just like all the other Disney princess movies this one is also based on a fairy tale.  Frozen is a re-imagining of Hans Christian Andersen's The Snow Queen.

Frozen is the story of estranged sisters Elsa and Anna, princesses of the Kingdom of Arendelle.  Elsa possess the power to create anything out of ice.  On her coronation as the new queen she accidentally unleashes an eternal winter.  She decided to exile herself but Anna is determined to go after her and end the winter.  Anna is helped by Kristoff and his steed err... reindeer Sven.  The character of Kristoff and Sven kind of reminds me of the characters in Tangled, Flynn and Maximus.  Disney probably doesn't want to change a winning formula.  But one character that takes the cake is Olaf the Snowman.  Although he is really there for comic relief he gives out one of the best lines in the movie "Some people are worth melting for."

The voice cast for Frozen is also exceptional with Kristen Bell (yes that's Veronica Mars for you) as Anna and my personal favorite Idina Menzel (of Broadway's Wicked, Rent and Glee) as Elsa.  I believe there is no other singer fitting to sing "Let It Go" as it has a "Defying Gravity" feel to it.  Here's proof:




I actually wanted to watch this one as it was eagerly endorsed to me by my little girl.  And she is right this is one gem of a movie.  I wouldn't mind watching this movie again and hopefully the next time I would be watching it with her.  I am going to buy the original DVD when it goes out later in March.

On both movies, there is much to be contemplated upon about family, sacrifice and the meaning of true love.  Also what is common about these two films is the portrayal of strong women as the main protagonist.  There was meme on Facebook saying that in Frozen it shows that princesses doesn't need a prince to save them.  I believe that the women in Disney are holding their own as evidenced in the last Disney outings so far.

So the 2013 movie season finished off on a high note and with the 2014 line up there are more good movies to come and to enjoy.

By the way, I was supposed to give my thoughts on Thor: The Dark World but didn't find anything noteworthy to say about it.  Onward to Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy then...

A New Year Letter From My Future Self (The Perks Of Using White Flower Lesson #2)

Lesson #2  On Shaping Your Destiny

Happy New Year My Old Self,

Here I am, a 65 year old man in the company of friends and family waiting for the clock to reach 12 and usher in 2037.  Yes, we've reached this far.  What a big contrast it is from where you are right now in New Year's Eve of 2013.  But let me tell you something about a very important realization in your life as you go through these difficult times.  You are now shaping your destiny.  Every decision, every spoken word, every course of action sets you closer to where I am right now.  And once again let me assure you that I am happy on where we have come to be.

So like a diamond being polished, being perfected by a craftsman, you need to go through stress.  You need to shed yourself.  You need to transform yourself.  And as I recall, the year 2013 did changed us.  These series of events from the start of the year until the last month have changed the way you see things.  And right now, you are starting to LIVE YOUR LIFE...again.

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets15 Aug

3 Steps To Live Life: 1. Wake up 2. Breathe 3. Repeat... #Ronaldo'sMusings

Speaking of which, in 2013 you started posting in your twitter feed with that #Ronaldo'sMusings and if there was one recurring theme in that hashtag it was LOVE.

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets28 Oct

If someone would ask me what I have done all my life then I would say "I have loved." #Ronaldo'sMusings

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets26 Jun

One does not choose to fall in love, one simply chooses to stay in love. #Ronaldo'sMusings

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets24 Mar

The only failure in life worth worrying upon is the failure to do good things to yourself and to others. #Ronaldo'sMusings

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets21 Mar

The most precious thing to spend is TIME, the most important thing to share is a SMILE and best thing to give is LOVE #Ronaldo'sMusings

And when you give out love there is no way that you can lose.  Because love begets love.  So continue to give out love.

Another lesson learned in 2013 is about LETTING GO.

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets12 Dec

I resolve to stop wasting my time on things that don't matter and just focus on the limited time given to me in this world #Ronaldo'sMusings

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets31 Jul

The moment you let go is when the story really starts to present itself #Ronaldo'sMusings

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets3 Apr

All things would have to come to an end eventually, whether we like it or not. #Ronaldo'sMusings

Ronald Narciza ‏@inunad Protected Tweets27 Mar

Every change in plan has a reason. It takes trust and optimism to believe that it is always for the best. #Ronaldo'sMusings

Letting go allows yourself to learn a very important thing that you need to realize - Trust.  Trust that this is happening to you right now for a good reason.

So to summarize, in order for you to reach your DESTINY -  LIVE LIFE, GIVE LOVE and LET GO.

Hashtag that :)

Chin up kid, things will get better eventually.

From,

YOU @65

P.S.  Time for you to shave...

The Perks Of Using White Flower* (and other things you need to know by the time you reach 65)

*White Flower - a traditional oil based Chinese medicine used to treat body aches.  It is normally associated with old people (go figure.)

**This would be a continuing series of the message from my future self.  It is in no way related to the novel "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." (Yes, there was novel before the movie.  Just like that Hunger Games films. You learn something every day now don't you?)

Lesson #1 On Being Alone

Hey me,

This is Christmas Day 2036,  I am celebrating with our family and friends.  I remember 23 years ago, for the first time in your life, you were spending Christmas Day alone in a cold, far away place.  You feel miserable, you want to give up, you want to go home.  Everything is not going the way you wanted it to be.  Yeah, to you it was time to give up, time to quit.  But you didn't, you kept on.  You picked yourself up and had an epiphany after receiving this post.  And it is that very reason why I am writing you now.  I am writing you once again to tell you something about living alone.

Being alone is good.  Being alone gives you time to think.  It lets you realize what is important in life.  It lets you focus on what was the reason why you decided to move out in the first place.  Don't get distracted by the unimportant things.  Always remember the reason why you are there.  On why you need to make this sacrifice.  Yes, sometimes you need to be alone.  So value the opportunity that you have right now.  Empty yourself out in order for you to appreciate the presence of those who really matter in your life.  Of those you love and loves you back.

Being alone is not entirely that bad as it sounds.  Think about it, you have the toilet all by yourself.  You can get out of the shower naked without anyone noticing.  You can sing and dance like crazy without any remorse.  And not just that think of Kevin of "Home Alone" having the house all to himself.  And by the way, do stay away from that movie during this season.  It wouldn't help.

Here is a list that you do need to do while being alone:

1.  Don't go overboard eating the stuff that can affect your health.

2.  Go easy on the alcohol.

3.  Don't start to smoke (again.)

4.  Go get some more sleep.

5.  Do more exercise.

6.  Give your brain some much needed rest and start by not thinking too much about the future.

7.  Just breathe.

I will not tell you what would happen in the future (you hear that internet police! I am not giving out any future information to myself.  So go away you snoops!)  Now where was I?  Ah yes, you would need to experience by yourself the things that would happen next.  But just to give you a sense of comfort, everything is going to be alright.  Remember, you are never truly alone.

Merry Christmas!

From,

You

A Letter From My Future Self

Prologue: The year is 2036, while scientists are still trying to create a working time machine the internet has evolved in creating websites that would allow anyone to send a message to somebody in the past.  This feature however was moderated as to not to divulge information or prevent important events and in the process alter history.  This is what is commonly known as the grandfather paradox.

Dear Me,

This is you from the future.  I am writing this letter as I am celebrating my, I mean, our 65th birthday.  I decided to do this not to warn you of anything but to assure you that you are doing a good job.

Don't let recent setbacks change the way you are.  By the time you have received this letter you are saddled with a lot of issues at work while being away from home.  Yes, 23 years ago when we have started working abroad.  These are the times when you are questioning why you are there.  You are angry and sad.  These are the times when you wanted to go home.  You wanted to give up.  Let me remind you that this is not how Papa and Mama raised you.  You are always calm, slow to anger.  You think straight, your emotions guide you and not overpower you.  Always remember our mantra "this too shall pass."  Just breath and everything will be alright.

At times you beat up yourself about leaving home to work abroad.  You feel that you are not seeing your daughter grow up and that she needs a father.  But don't worry, she will be fine, no let me correct that she will be great.  The love that you give is enough even while you are away.  Do not underestimate her, she is a bright kid.  She will grow up to be a beautiful person inside and out.  At times she needs to learn the lessons in life without you being there.  She will  learn embarrassment, she will know frustration, and sad as it seems, yes she will feel heartbreak.  But this will make her stronger, this will help her grow up.  This I assure you, you will be beside her when it matters the most.

And you know what?  She will get married despite her telling you at her aunt's wedding that she will be forever single.  She's funny thinking about that when she was 9 years old.  And she will get married to (portion deleted by internet authority)  OK, I'll stop there I still can't get over the shock myself but do treasure that moment when you walk her down the aisle.  

And speaking of that little bringer of joy don't forget to thank your wife everyday for guiding her and molding her.  For the sacrifice she does to keep it all together.  Much of your daughter's personality comes from her.  Don't forget to encourage her.  Don't forget to assure her like I am assuring you now that everything would be fine.  It is really difficult to raise a child by yourself but always remind her that she is not and will never be alone.

I got to go, they are calling me now to blow the candles in the cake.  And by the way, appreciate your family and true friends both here and abroad they are still with us right now.  I'll leave it up to you to determine who they are.  Good friends are like durable pairs of shoes, no matter what the situation is they keep on walking with you.  So enjoy the journey and don't forget to smell the flowers along the way.  This is just the start of the rest of our life.

From Me

P.S.  I don't think the internet police would mind this but do keep yourself healthy.  It is not fun to have a bad (portion deleted by internet authority) at age 65.